is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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