i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
