Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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