Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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