Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
