Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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