Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
