Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???