So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.