Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
