Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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