How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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