where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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