He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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