yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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