Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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