In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
