At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
