cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
