Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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