just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
