no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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