I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
