your parents love me but you hate me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
