Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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