What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
