Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
