we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
