Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
