everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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