Don't you send me to vm
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize