Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize