It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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