Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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