The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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