I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
