so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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