OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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