Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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