Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
