I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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