I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
