It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
