you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
