Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
