She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
