His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that