The maid of honor just puked.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?