I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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