I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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