accomplished twins. life is a go
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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