I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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