Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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