Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I didn't notice because vodka
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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