It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize