No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
