You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Four minutes until I can fart!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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