Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
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Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
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Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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