I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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