WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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