but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
