I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
