he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
