Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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