She said her name was "party"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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