sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My bed smells like the plague
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
